Hugging in the #MeToo Era

In the Mystery School, we hug a lot. That might sound “woo woo”, but it really isn’t.

We hug a client who comes to us for healing work, to establish a heart connection. We hug when we see a fellow Mystery School compatriot. Always, it is mutual, wholehearted and genuine. A natural expression of our shared humanity and spiritual essence.

Let’s unpack what a hug really is.

All sorts of research has been done on how great hugs are for your feeling of connection, your nervous system, your immune system. How it helps people feel connected and less afraid of dying. We are blending our energy with that of another for a moment of connection. A hug is a little recess from life, a moment to remember you are one with the light, because there in your arms is an ally, with their peculiar human foibles and glories just like you have yours. And for that moment, none of that even matters.

There are all sorts of hugs. We hug our children and normally these are acts of comfort and affection. We embrace our shared innocence. We are both nourished, renewed and strengthened.

Probably all of us have had other kinds of hugs. Hugs which by design keep people separate, like the “A-frame”, where the heads and shoulders touch and nothing else. The bear hug, which if it is too hard actually hurts. The sidecar.. I hope, for you, these are rare.

Healing Hugs

You can “read” where a person is at through their hug, especially if you are spiritually aware, which is true of anyone who has been around Mystery School for even a short while. Is the person’s heart open? Do they want something from me, besides what I am willing to give? Is their inner child feeling unloved? Do they feel “sexual” around me? Do I feel sexual around them? We also have a measure of ourselves when the mirror of that hug reflects on “me”. A hug can just be a quick reminder that “I am OK”. If that hug radiates from my heart, all that human stuff is relegated to a distant last place over the moment of presence in the hug.

I go into my hugs with a sense that love is radiating just past my edges from a deep pool in me. I am in the moment and I am there to share our common divinity. PERIOD. I am not rushed, I am listening with my senses and without judgment. I hold them in sacredness. People love to hug me and be hugged by me. I love hugging!

What a gift is the hug!

As a nearly 70-year old woman, a member of the baby boom generation, and having come of age during women’s lib and the sexual revolution, I have had just about every sort of hug! The sexual, groping hug. The “do I have to” hug. The stinky hug (b.o., halitosis, cigarette smoke..). The sidecar (“don’t want to get too close”) hug, which is one version of the “do I have to”. The “come up behind you” hug. The “deadpan”, “not home” hug. The overly enthusiastic vice grip, probably because the person wanted to appear “enlightened” about hugging, but wasn’t really comfortable with it. Maybe they were afraid to be seen. A real hug will expose who you are. The joy is in letting yourself be seen and in seeing the other.

I have been hugged by Amma. People stand in long darshan lines to be hugged by Amma. This Indian spiritual master uses hugging to remind people they are sacred. One day, I stood in her darshan line with my infant son. After a long wait, we were at the front of the line just as he needed to nurse. She invited me to sit next to her while I fed him. What an honor! She hugged several people and then she hugged us. WOW!

Sometimes I teach through my hugs.

“Lighten up your grip…a little more…there! Feel that?”

I think there is something of Amma in my hugs. If you are afraid to be loved, don’t hug me. Or… do! I promise it won’t hurt!

When we hug, we are meeting heart to heart. When I hug, I meet their eyes first and something in that connection starts the hug off on a very personal note. If you are hugging a room full of people, it is very important to make each hug personal. One beautiful divine spirit acknowledging and sharing with another. Each of us is uniquely divine and each is strengthened when that uniqueness is seen and appreciated.

Timing is Important

As a lightworker, I am aware that the timing is important. If I hug a new client as he or she walks through my door, I have not yet built rapport. Lightworkers work primarily in the aura and that is very intimate. Rapport first, a hug and then the work.

Although I am glad the me-too revolution is happening for all we women have had to endure over time, I worry a bit for the men. Hey, sisters and brothers… be careful, but try a respectful, nourishing, consensual hug! Those who are deserving of our trust, which is probably most of them, even those who have had to mend their ways, will start to know we forgive and accept them. Now that’s healing!